Pre-Surgery Rediness

I had no idea before I got involved in all this how much "pre" stuff was involved. At first when I was booked 2 months out from when my doctor and I decided to pull the trigger on getting this bum knee replaced I thought that seemed like forever. Seriously. By that time I was ready yesterday. Then I found out all the stuff that I had to do to get ready for this surgery. No kidding, there is a checklist and everything, which is kind of exciting if you are a nerdy check list lover like I am. I'm the kind of girl who loves getting ready for vacation as much as the vacation itself. Don't judge me.

My medic ride at the Air Show

First, there were a myriad (double scrabble points for that word) of doctors visits to get done. I'm not just talking about my "Shauna's body eats itself" rheumatology stuff, but things like getting your dental cleaning done. Then there is the girly stuff that girls need to get done before any life event: hair done, brows threaded, new outfits for the hospital. Very important. All this takes time and careful scheduling.

Speaking of shopping, there is a crap load (yes, I'm 12) of toys you have to buy for this surgery. Amazon loves us. Thankfully we have a family member who gave us a "loaner" walker to use. The downside is that I can't bedazzle it like I did my crutches, the upside (besides it being free) is that it has a little chair on it. Super cute. Other random things you have to get include a reacher to grab things and poke your husband if he moves too slowly, a fancy sock putter-onner (I'm sure it has a real name, but remember I'm 12), a raised toilet seat, one of those "As seen on TV" handles to stick on the shower wall, and a cane. The cane I will bedazzle. I was hoping to skimp on some of the stuff until at my pre-op Dr. Kristensen asked "So, you have...." and listed everything. I lied and said yes, then Jeremy ordered them that night. Poop. I seriously thought that was only for the geriatric crowd, but nope. The young and spry need all this crap too. Fine.

Another thing leading up to the surgery is prehab. Yes, I know your joints hurt,

but you have to work that mo-fo out! I have little legs. Always have, always will, which is why I can only handle 4 runs total when we snowboard. Now is no time to slack off on workouts. I found riding my stationary bike at home, or my bicycle around our neighborhood the best. It also helped to get that extra fluid out of my joints after work. Oh, it also is excellent for escaping a hormonal 10 year old girl who just had a bad day at school and wants to inflict her wrath on the parental units. I found I can pedal faster than she can. Just kidding. I leave her at home. You also gotta get your hips and butt strong. At this point you might as well do some ab work too. C'mon girl. Work on that fitness. As a side note we did score a Chuck Norris Total Gym off Craigs List. Sweet. It's a glorified pilates machine. Did you know that Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer? Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

The last thing to do tonight (my surgery is tomorrow) is my sexy shower kit. I chose the rosemary mint shower kit. Just kidding. I got the eau de chlorhexidine shower kit like everybody else, because MRSA isn't funny, well.... no. It's gross. YouTube it. It's gross. I shower up tonight, shower up tomorrow morning and I'm so fresh and so clean, clean.... that is until I get nervous and start to sweat because I'm not allowed to wear deoderant. Oh! and I had to schedule my shaving 3 days ahead of time! Yeah, ladies. Think that one over. The one thing I am trying to wrap my brain around is the no makeup. Seriously, I do not go ANYWHERE  without makeup. I am a natural blonde so my eyelashes are blonde and I look quite scary without makeup - terminal almost. I don't care that I am vain. I keep trying to justify "tinted moisturizer", "a little mascara", "lip stain". Yeah. I'll probably go for the lip stain and then just pinch my cheeks. 

Today I will feast before midnight, try to relax as much as possible while fanatically getting the house ready and taking Natalia's toys out of the dog's mouth because he has been particularly naughty this week. Jeremy's mom just picked up Natalia and I hugged her a bit tighter and took an extra moment to smell her hair like I always do before I say goodnight. I'm scared for the unknown, but excited to get this season of my busted knee behind me.